Assuming you guys are working things out now, working on the problems that caused you to break up in the first placeIf you want to get back together w/ your ex, how important is it to know what happened while u were broken up?
You answered your own question ....very good. You answered it at the very end of your question. The important thing is that you two are working on the problems that got you to the point where you broke up. All that went on while you two were broken up is nothing but drama.
Let me put it this way. To have an affair, although it is devastating, is really the symptom not the disease. Yes you can take care of the symptom by telling one another about all your experiences etc and how you will never be unfaithful again but that doesn't cure the disease. To cure the disease you guys have to do what you are doing now. Working on the problems that existed that led to the breakup. Does that makes sense?
I have no clue what the issues were that led to the break up and in a way it doesn't matter. So what ever happened with the two of you when you were apart just isn't relevant. What is relevant, is how did you two as a couple get to this point. And then how are the two of you going to work at it to fix it? How are the two of you going to view each other with better communication......more respect.....more understanding and patience than before? That should be your focus, and if you two are committed to searching for those answers then you will have cured the disease
And I do wish you well!If you want to get back together w/ your ex, how important is it to know what happened while u were broken up?
The problem w/ getting re-involved w/ an ';ex';, is that you must forget what broke you up in the 1st place. Whether that would be forgiveness or stupidity, would depend on the circumstances.
I would want to know all details for the purpose of avoiding the chance of sharing her w/ someone else. She would have to prove herself all over again.
I'd also insist on a complete health screening for all STD's.
I just really depends on how long the break up was
I'm sorry and I might get plenty o thumbs down on this but if my ex was jumping into the sac with another man shortly after a breakup if it was a long term relationship/marriage then obviously she/he was long over the relationship before the split was official
Just my two cents so I probably couldn't work it out if that was the case
I would want to know everything that way there are no surprises in the future.
but i would not use that info to make a decesion of getting back together with him or not.
only to know and be aware in case he or she comes around you would know to keep your gaurd up.
Don't ask, don't tell.
WOW I AGREE I WANT TO GET BACK WITH MY EX I THINK ITS BEST TO BE BETTER OF ALONE!!!!I GOT DUMPED TWICE BY MY EX
For the time being, don't ask; don't tell.
You broke up; oops.
I agree with the other post- it really depends on how long you were together and how long the breakup was. I have an ex that I dated for two years and we had a very long hard relationship. We broke up for 1 month, and during that time he 'dated' someone else. When I found out after we got back together, I just couldn't look at him the same. I couldn't believe that he could move on so quickly after he talked of marriage. It just un-validated all I thought we had. However, if we were broken up for a longer period of time, I wouldn't really want to know details and would assume he would need support somewhere.You can't expect someone to wait forever I suppose.
THE most important thing of ever getting back together is addressing the issues that caused your break up... And fixing them
I found this website that I think is right up your ally.
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I know everyone is different and each situation is also totally unique, but I figured it was relevant for this particular situation, and this website looks like it has some really good information.
Check it out:
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when we break up with someone, it means we are single again,and life goes on as usual....
most of the time, when people have affairs after a break up, they are on the rebound. meaning that they are trying to prove to themselves that they are still loveable.
the most healthy thing to do after a break up is to get your life back together and get over the relationship, but that doesn't always happen.
our past is gone, and even if we have an affair during a break-up, it has nothing to do with the old relationship. it's not about the ex partner, but about self-fulfillment, for lack of a better term.
if i were in a situation where i was considering going back to an ex, i would insist on couple's counseling -- otherwise, i'd be going back to the same old situation and problems without good solutions or an understanding of what went wrong the first time.
Hey - anything is forgivable. Depends on how badly you want to get back together. If you split up, it's only obvious that someone may have gotten involved with someone else.
Thing is, I would be honest. It's not that you were physical with someone, likely your partner wants to know if you loved, or still love, that person. That is the issue.
If you do get back together, you have to make it clear that you don't want anything that happened during the breakup to be an issue. End of discussion. Get on with your life together. And don't break up again.
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